Hi everyone, I’m back ! I’ve been on a week-long vacation with my family to sunny Florida to hang out, soak up some sun, and see my mom who is still doing very well.

My mom, still living by herself, cleans her whole apartment, goes to her hair salon appointments, dental appointments, shops for summer outfits at the mall. Why is all this amazing ? Because she will be 91 this coming March.

Even as she approaches 91, she continues to live as much of an independent life as she could. This was totally her choice. She spent much of her middle age researching and reading health articles mostly about vitamin and mineral supplements and how to take them at the right amounts at the right combination. Although she never totally gave up on medical science, I would say she was able to find just the right balance between the two.  

When she was a young girl, she had a lot of health problems. Her family lived in a New York City building that had no heat in the winter. Her father took her to a holistic practitioner, who gave her massive doses of vitamins to bring her back to good health. She tells me this story repeatedly throughout the years. 

I noticed my mother’s obsession with being healthy after my sister, Sans Souci, got married and moved out of our house. I remember seeing the book, entitled, “Let’s Get Well”, by a woman named Adele Davis, among others, who would offer natural remedies and cures for all kinds of ailments.

Although I do think it’s important to be healthy, I could never really understand what my mother lives for as far as what makes her happy and what is important to her.

To put it simply, she lives an independent life within a circle of dependency on other people. She can cook her own food, but she needs someone to shop and bring her the food. She can’t carry a lot of heavy bags anymore.  She doesn’t drive and never did because my father did all the driving when he was alive. But since my dad passed away in 1991, she had to do all her own shopping by taking a bus. However, now it’s too hot for her to take public transportation. She now pays a neighbor to do her monthly food shopping for her.

Sans Souci, Mom, and me (Laurita)

She also loves to make herself attractive to men, but that seems to be fading, because she feels less attractive to them as she continues to age, and most men her age have already passed on. She seemed to feel that relationships to men are more important to her because she thinks that women are jealous of her. My mother is not the kind of person that would let herself go just because she is getting older. I would say she lives an independent life because she can still take care of herself as far as dressing herself, feeding herself, and has no physical ailments or major memory problems that I can think of that would keep her confined to her home other than not learning how to drive. 

She is proud that she has so far escaped from being in a nursing home. In fact, I was listening to my mother speaking to her older sister, Annette,  on the phone, (who is now in a nursing home), and one of the last things I heard my mother say to her was, “I made it”. It felt like they had a little competition going on between them about who could live the longest. Annette would tease my mother about living longer than the whole family because my mother was very ill growing up. 

But how do they deal with aging ? Do they feel that their days are numbered and that you are living on barrowed time ? I have noticed that when the elderly are starting to accept their mortality, they start to give away their material posessions. “I don’t want a stranger to have it”, said my mother, “I have to accept the end of life”.  At that age, they start to lose friends, family, and other close connections to the world.

I seem to be following in my mother’s footsteps as far as health is concerned, but if I want to keep going past 90, I have to accept the loses of friends and relatives. Even if it means making new friends that are younger than me, I don’t care if they are men or not. I don’t feel that being attractive to the opposite sex is important to a 100 year old, but having friends is important, and having a purpose in life is important along with good health.        

Thanks for listening…

P.S. If there’s any single men out there living on the east coast of Florida, aged 90 or younger, in GOOD physical and mental condition and would like to go on a date with mom, please leave a comment below.

Mom doesn’t have a computer, but I’d be happy to let her know if you’re interested.

Must be interested in health, and be living independently. She’s just interested in companionship, marriage is not necessary. 

deletereply artprevails wrote on Feb 21, ’09 This was wonderful to read, Laurita…you love your mom so much!  And your mom is a wonderful human being!  I love her spirit and way of living…she is embracing all of life.

deletereply gypsy4you wrote on Feb 21, ’09 Laurita, this is a terrific post! Your Mom is a beautiful lady. Holistic medicine and modern medicine in moderation and balance definately can help us to survive. A mind  learns and keep stimulated is a blessing to begin with.

deletereply strongwilledwoman wrote on Feb 21, ’09 I see where you got your beauty from, she still is a lovely woman. My husbands grandmother died at 103. She lived by herself until she was 100 and then and only then did she agree to go to a care center. She also had family that would call her every day and stop by when ever she needed anything. She got a wheelchair at 98, and was totally blind when they put her in the nursing home. I once asked her what the key to her longevity was and she said…”go, just go anywhere, at anytime that anyone asks you to go, and have fun doing it.” She was a widow at an early age and became very independent, she was proud of being that way. I am over 60 and a lot of those days I feel as if I were 100…..I can’t imagine.

deletereply notjay wrote on Feb 22, ’09 How sweet! She seems like a nice women. What a blessing to be close to her all these years. You have something very special…Love!

deletereply skeezicks1957 wrote on Feb 22, ’09 Cherish the time you have with your mom.  What  a neat person she is!

deletereply starfishred wrote on Feb 22, ’09 Oh that is so wonderful-your mother could have been my mom she is so much like me and feels so much like my philosophy on life-she has so much shutzpah what a wonderful person-hope she finds someone to enjoy a dinner with and a little converstion with oh how I would love to visit with her-like her there are so few wone worth the while but she is on and so are you and sue- hehe like your mom I never go out of the house unless I am made to look attractive for men not women they like your mom says are alwys just jelouse-

deletereply sassyangelac wrote on Feb 22, ’09, edited on Feb 22, ’09 She does not look 91!  This is exactly why aging is no big deal to me.  There are still women over 80 who run races with me in every distance from the 5k to the marathon, and I think they are, like your mom, a prime example of why getting older is nothing to obsess over; it changes, slows down, looks a little different, but it’s not over!

deletereply darlene57 wrote on Feb 22, ’09 This is so sweet and interesting post, Laurita.  We have so much to learn from those who go before us teaching us simple ways to live a long, happy life, if we care to heed~smilies~d~

editdeletereply lauritasita wrote on Feb 22, ’09 She also stresses the importance of relaxation techniques like meditation.

deletereply sanssouciblogs wrote on Feb 22, ’09, edited on Feb 22, ’09 Hi Sis, I don’t think aunt Annette is in a “nursing home” it’s assisted living. She has maybe 3 years on mom and sounds like she’s going down hill. Believe me, she is NOT looking for marriage. She outlived 3 companions and used to call one of them “the old man,” because he walked with a cane and had a limp. From my earliest memories, she ALWAYS spent time on grooming, makeup and hair. Her twin sisters looked like models (unfortunately one died) and I think women of this time were highly influenced by Hollywood glamour and all that illusion. I don’t think she tries to make herself only attractive “to men,” it’s more for herself and for her “image.”  She’d never leave the house unless she felt she looked appropriate. As long as she keeps up her appearance it is a very good sign–that she can face a new day. I hope she can continue a few more years in good health and with all her faculties. As for companionship–I wish she had a few women friends she could count on. In the end, that’s all we have. Great post, makes me happy and sad at the same time.